Why is Sarah Palin stressing me out?

I had a dream last night that Sarah Palin had found some way to spin her tea-partying ways into some ultra-conservative (read: cultish) organized religion, and it was one that was catching fire across the country faster than parched desert shrubbery (Sorry, southwest states). Anyway, I somehow found myself invited to her headquarters, which oddly enough looked like the rendering of the new Apple headquarters that is being proposed in Cupertino. While there, she led us into this Imax-ish type theater, where she proceeded to play this horrific film of what it would be like to witness the apocalypse from the sidewalks of some undisclosed urban setting. As simulated buildings fell on us, firebombs burst, and citizens of cybercity screamed, fled and were incinerated, her voice was overhead, warning of us events JUST LIKE THIS, if Obama is reelected to another term in 2012. Dream-me was incredibly frightened-not of the prospect of Obama’s second term, but of the fact that this monster was motivating the weak of mind around the country, with her ever-misguided fear-mongering. Would people actually fall for this stuff? As I looked around at the other people in the room, I realized-yes, they would. I wondered if I’d be sacrificed in the name of Glenn Beck if I dared dissent. You betcha! I needed a way out, and fast.

So, we left. Dream-Andy was with me, and he was totally taken in by her tomfoolery. I stared, slack-jawed at him, as he rationalized everything she had just said, and made immediate resolutions to further her message, as well as to adopt a conservative, traditional Christian lifestyle. I think staring down the barrel of homemade cotton dresses and Duggar-style reproduction, while listening to President Palin’s State of the Union speech sent my brain into a spasm of improbability, because all of the sudden, I snapped awake, unsure of whether or not to move. While I frequently say I never have nightmares, I can confidently tell you that this would qualify as bona fide night terror. It may seem ridiculous, but trust me, it was so REAL. I laid there for awhile, searching through my mind to better understand what led to this dream, which is something I always do. Things needs to make sense in my mind, have a linkage between the conscious and unconscious hours. As you can imagine, dreams involving trees made of teeth with Woody Allen swinging from the branches are especially difficult to logically piece together. I digress.

I think we’ve witnessed so much nonsense at the hands of our government (as well as those who oppose it) over the past decade, that it increasingly seems like nothing is out of bounds anymore. Rationally, logically, I know Sarah Palin will most likely not even declare candidacy, let alone get elected, but that nasty, awful “What if” always sneaks up on me. Things make sense less and less everyday in the world around us, and before you know it, I’m watching death and destruction in Imax HD with the Pipeline Princess in my dreams. Terrifying.

So, I’m going to leave you with this. With campaign season upon us, it’s so, SO important to educate yourselves on the candidates. Understand who they are and where their experience lies, their platforms, and how these things impact not only the country we live in, but the world-at-large, and our fellow citizens. And for the love of God, VOTE. Do your part, and vote your values. It’s your responsibility. Otherwise, Sarah Palin is coming to get you.

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